Why _why’s the what’s what with the who’s who

There are no Angela’s in my life.

I am not upstairs.

I asked _why if I could interview him, and he responded

It’s great to meet you, Mike, and this package of bytes you sent me… well, you’ve really outdone yourself. They are lovely and please give my best to Angela and all the guys downstairs.

Interviews are a sticky situation right now. First, I only accept interviews which are handwritten and I only produce interview answers which are handwritten. This is a personal creed dating back to the 2005s. I suppose it is in the realm of possibility that I could do a recorded interview, but all you would hear is the scratching of pencils really, so: something to keep in mind I guess.

And, secondly, the second trouble, well, is: I am in hiding right now.I have made some dubious occupational choices, the foremost of which is my recent employment as a freelance professor. There is no international law explicitly protecting unaccredited, unlicensed and ill-advised professors such as myself. And, unfortunately, I am surrounded by international waters, which only leaves me open to either imprisonment or a lifetime of perpetual deportation.

At any rate, as you can tell from the preceding two paragraphs, I would be a very bad interview, one which would only serve to fill your readers with pains of alienation and degeneracy. And while both are good feelings to have, nonetheless they are still both very, very BAD feelings to have.

Adventure-sized,

_why

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